Recent suicides

We’ve had so many public figures pass away tragically recently, but as neighbors and human beings why are we so selfish?

I’m here to tell you my perspective with my history. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since at least 3rd grade. Did I have many people to talk or listen to? NO. Thankfully I had wonderful therapists through middle school and high school, because my depression got really bad at times! I still didn’t have much support in terms of a listening ear. During this time mental illnesses were so taboo and so stigmatized. My parents did their best to help. College hit and I just felt like my anxiety and depression rose and rose and rose through classes and then nursing school… To a heightened state. Anxiety attacks, social anxiety, insomnia, leading to the peak of my eating disorder. ALL THROUGH THIS DID I HAVE A LISTENING EAR? Not really no. Therapists, parents doing their best, friends who didn’t really understand. Friends asking why I couldn’t fix it or getting it under control? All I could say is I was doing the best I could and cry. That’s what I had.

My strength came from inside myself and God. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the holy Lord and my determination to succeed.

I want to say I’ve never had thoughts of self-harm or suicide, but that’s a lie… High school I thought of ways to hurt myself. This escalated and in college, nursing school, and since then I’ve had suicide thoughts sometimes. When I have those I know I’m in a bad place. I reconnect with my higher power, myself, and my now support system and I pull myself out.

It just breaks my heart that others haven’t been as lucky as me, or have had such inner turmoil that it has come to them ending their lives. Once someone decides to end their lives its very hard to stop them. I’d love to say its their choice, but mental illness really isn’t a choice. I just really hope that my story can help and if anyone needs to talk or an ear to listen they reach out to me. I UNDERSTAND!

I also understand why people act so strong, especially these public figures. The fear of being seen differently. I have never wanted to be seen as weak. I’m not weak… I am strong, very strong. I’ve overcome so much! So did they! They continue to overcome so much!!!! Xoxo.

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