eating disorder, Life

Starting a day

Lately I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. I know logically I need to to take care of my doggies, eat, take care of myself. This is what is propelling me to do so.

If it were just me I’m scared tho I’d give into the dark, warm, confines of my bed.

Somedays are harder than others… Duh… I know this. Working to give myself grace has been hard. I really like the feeling of wanting to stay in bed all day… It’s cozy and familiar.

Back in college I moved home. My schooling was so tough with nursing and then on top of it I was suffering from health issues. My way to cope was to go and hide in my room. I’d get my dog and we’d go lay in bed. I’d either watch netflix, study in bed, or nap.

In the last few years since school I’ve really worked on just keeping my bed for sleeping. Working on using the living room… For the living.

I thought about why I’d be going back to this… Maybe its more depressio… That always could be it’s a rollercoaster ride… Or maybe it’s just trying to seek things that feel comfortable and hold onto them in a chaotic world.

All I know is I’ll still get up… Maybe just a hour or two later than normal… Still take care of my doggies… Still take care of me… Ive2 learned I have to.

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