♥MY LIFE THEN VS NOW♥
I’ve decided it’s time… time for me to start talking about my life last year versus now. This is going to be a series since CLEARLY my life has COMPLETELY changed!
A year ago approximately is when I realized I had an eating disorder and sought treatment. Where do I even begin this series?
Last year this time I was completely down in the dumps. I had reached my all time low. My husband is in the Air Force and in July left for a TDY for 3 weeks I think? During that time was my lowest point… period.
MY BRAIN WAS NOT WORKING. I was in such a brain-fog I could not process general information. I realize now how malnourished I was. All I wanted to do was stay in my dark bedroom, secluded, and sleep all day. I barely crept out of bed to make it to work.
Some days I would call my dad or mom bawling asking if I should even go to work, because I didn’t think I could… or should. As a nurse I really wanted to make sure my patients had the best care… at that time, I tried so hard to do my best, but knew it was not my best.
One night my mom and brother even came over and brought me a Sonic drink because I was having suicide thoughts… I told you MY LOWEST POINT! ROCK BOTTOM!
Let’s fast forward to now. Today I am doing ok. I am not great, but ok. I know I still have work to do, but I have come a long ways.
I still have days I want to stay in bed all day, but I push myself out of bed and remind myself of all I have to live for! I eat way better than I did last year! Yes, I still have foods that are hard for me because of my eating disorder. However, I AM ABLE TO PUSH MYSELF TO EAT THEM! I know food doesn’t define me.
I have been more of a recluse though, so I am working on hanging out with people more… especially my family who has been there for me all year.
One day at a time!
Peace and love,