This one is for the younger part of me that has suffered, but also for the young, dear children of the world. My prayer is they can learn from my story.
How are you? Are you struggling? Do you feel like you are comparing yourself to people around you?
Starting at 6 years old you were struggling. Poor girl, if only you realized how pretty inside and out you were! You compared yourself to others in all sorts of ways!! Grades, clothes, who was friends with who, how you looked in your cheer uniforms. The need to be “perfect” was so overwhelming, wasn’t it?
If only there could have been positive ways to really be noticed. You received some attention at home, but you needed more. You lost your childhood at such a young age and that didn’t help anything. Growing up so fast and realizing what the world is really like was so hard! Going from a young kid to an old soul-teenager in a short time was rough. Basically really like 13 going on 30! It’s like you missed the time of nurturing and really figuring out what makes you so special, what your real talents are. Why you are you!!!
Going backwards and learning about yourself has been important. Being 24 years old and finally realizing “I am ok with who I am” has been astronomical. The struggle will still be real. This body image thing and other issues didn’t start yesterday, but one day at a time.
I just wish I could have helped you more back in the day. Even in high school through the bullying, trauma, awful things that happened. I just didn’t know how. I did the best I could.
Looking back can you believe where you are now? You knew you were determined and had a crazy strong head on your shoulders, but really?!!! Have a career, husband, doggy, and luckily just be somewhat stable! It’s unimaginable coming from where you were even ten years ago! Imagine where you will be in another ten years!
I will always try and do my best to protect you, but can you forgive me for the past?