eating disorder, Life

Control

via Daily Prompt: Control

                  Watermelon pig.:

Control-

 

Giving up control is so hard. Right now I am having to still deal with this. Realizing that I can’t half-ass my recovery is hard. Realizing I really do need to complete my full meal plan, small goals daily, coping mechanisms, figuring out how to live life is so hard. My control of what I thought my life would be at 24 years old is gone. My life has completely changed. My ideas have completely changed. My control is GONE. Realizing its minute by minute… one second at a time.









Being an ICU nurse is also a part of this. Realizing that life is short, shorter than imaginable. Seeing how these medical experiences effect the families and patients. Seeing them praying and hoping that their loved ones will make it through these events. Realizing they are giving up all of their control for whatever power above they believe in. Relying on me and other healthcare providers to do whatever we can to assist. The struggle can be real and the stress can be hard, but I love helping these patients and families. I have no control as well in these situations. I pretend I do to make the families and patients feel better, but I cannot control life and death. I do what I can to help. I think I make a difference, I pray I do…

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