Life

The Robins Egg

Last night my husband and I went on a dinner date. I was so excited because he had just gotten home from a trip to Denver for work.  After going back and forth on what restaurants to eat at, we chose Red Robin.  I knew when I got there that I wanted something lighter to eat.  I had had pizza for lunch and didn’t want a tummy ache.  When we get there and sit down, for the first time IN A LONG TIME I started having social anxiety… I felt like the walls were caving in on me, that the loud voices were swarming me, and that everyone was looking at me.

When my food came I did not want to eat AT ALL. I kept rationalizing and telling myself I didn’t need to eat because I had pizza for lunch… I knew logically I needed to eat tho… I really felt like all eyes were on me and my paranoia kicked in. I tried to calm and take some deep breaths, but it was hard… I finally ate some french fries and started to slowly eat my meal… However I wasn’t really enjoying it… I kept eyeing everyone around me making sure no one was watching me (PARANOIA).

Then as I’m eating my sandwich I notice a hair in my sandwich. I was already so close to a breaking point… I wanted to cry so badly… the waitress came up and asked if we needed anything and if it was prepped right. I just couldn’t tell her at that moment, I was too upset.  A couple minutes later another waiter came up and asked if we needed anything and I told him about the hair, but I immediately felt guilty for them having to re-make my sandwich, no matter how nice he acted.  During the waiting period I kept having paranoid thoughts… that the staff didn’t believe that there was a hair in my sandwich, that they were in the kitchen talking bad about me, etc.  They did make me a new one and did not make us pay for my part of the meal.  I felt really happy that they had such great service, but my social anxiety and paranoia got the best of me.  This was a challenge I haven’t had in a while.  I’d been doing so well, but just like everyone else, I struggle as well.

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