via Daily Prompt: Acceptance
Acceptance is my word for today. Today my struggle is real. I am coming clean on this one and being very vulnerable.
My life has had many ups and downs, but despite it all… I STILL TRIED TO REMAIN HAPPY. My struggle with accepting myself started very young. Just little comments made to me in elementary school and middle school started it all, but the struggle really started in high school. I was already being bullied, but then I decided to try out for Pom sophomore year. The girls were so mean. I already was isolating personally and struggling a lot, but add on the viciousness and my life felt horrible. I struggled a lot that year. The summer after I buckled and needed a change. I went to a private school and didn’t fit in there… I tried, but there were already cliques that had formed. I went back to Memorial senior year and was suffering from major depression. Through college and until I went into treatment all of this continued and got worse along with my ED continuing to rage.
I have had such a hard time accepting myself. Depression, anxiety, horrible body image, ED, wanting to be perfect, and comparing myself to others had made my life even harder. Since about mid-way through treatment I have slowly become empowered. I do this slowly by trying to find clothes I love, not worrying about the scales, doing small things everyday to make myself feel better, surrounding myself by people I love. This will continue to be a challenge everyday, but I continue on…